	Agree Dispute Resolution Leaders in Mediation, Arbitration, Training, Partnering, Facilitation, Coaching and Ombudsman

Local (905)-627-5582 Toll Free 1-800-524-6967

There's A Crack in Everything...That's How the Light Gets In

by Rick Russell

I knew it was going to be different when a delegation came forward and said - "We want the room changed".

Gary Furlong and I had just finished the introductory evening of a five day mediation workshop for a group of thirty or so First Nations people. The group was a diverse one, including several elected and hereditary Chiefs, school and college teachers and principals, social service workers, lawyers, entrepreneurs, managers and consultants from across Ontario.

They sat politely while Gary and I were introduced by Carol Beatty, the Executive Director of Queen's University Industrial Relations Centre.

Everyone laughed when I challenged them to "make plenty of mistakes, 'cause no one gets to be wrong", and promised that Gary and I would make our fair share along the way.

They accepted the opportunity to challenge ideas and approaches that did not seem to address the reality of their own communities as they saw it, and had agreed to form a "learning community" that was safe for everyone to participate fully in.

Now they weren't laughing. They said the classroom style seating in rows would have to go. They suggested a circle, as they used in their own communities.

Elaine Clark, Gary and I hustled around that evening, forming two crescents, one inside the other, with a large workspace in the middle. The room could not accommodate a full circle of thirty plus coaches.

We held our breath the next morning, hoping that the arrangement would be satisfactory. It was and people seemed much more comfortable.

As promised, they tested us frequently, asking how these approaches would fit in with the older, more traditional ways of the elders. Gary and I admitted that we were not sure whether there was room for this approach in aboriginal communities. We explained that some time had been set aside on the agenda to discuss this issue, and that what was being offered was a tool kit and not a cure all. It seemed that once people were satisfied that we were not intent on selling them a "bill of goods" they were able to relax and take things in with more ease.

The second morning offered another excellent learning opportunity. Delbert Horton and Ken Jacobs, two members of the group who were instrumental in obtaining funding and helping us to design the workshop, came up to advise us that an elder, who was a faculty member at Queen's had offered to open the day with a 'smudge'.

A smudge, was something I had never witnessed before. The elder brought a large, flat shell with him. Into the shell he placed tobacco, sage, and cedar. Using a match, he lit the material in the shell until it began to smoke. He then walked slowly around the circle carrying an eagle feather.

He started with Gary and I. Not knowing what to do, we stood silently as the elder brushed the smoke toward us from the smudge. When he moved to the others they removed their jewelry and ornaments and drew the smoke toward them, first over their hands which they moved as if washing. Next they pulled the smoke toward their face and then down over their entire body. Lastly they cupped their hands and drew the smoke from the smudge toward their heart.

It was explained to us that the cedar, tobacco and sage and eagle feather were sacred objects and represented the presence of the Great Spirit. Jewelry is removed as a sign of respect, as it is considered worldly and in the circle there is a recognition that all are one and part of the Spirit.

After that, we had a smudging ceremony every morning and some days kept the smudge handy in the event any one felt the need for it during the day. As an enthusiastic canoeist and someone who loves the out of doors, the sharp smell of the cedar and sage smoke was a welcome way to start the day, along with the time for contemplation and prayer the smudge afforded.

As the training progressed I noticed other things. The group were impatient with approaches to conflict management that seemed manipulative to them.

When we taught CDR Associates' Circle of Conflict, for example, the idea of moving people from relationship and values conflicts down to the area of data, structure and interests did not make sense to them. What they wanted were tools that allowed them to move with the parties further into their values and relationships and to explore those values more fully. We outlined the Canadian Institute of Conflict Resolution's three levels of Deep Rooted Conflict and they found that more satisfying.

When discussing mediator impartiality, they noted that no one was seen as "outside" in a First Nations community, everyone knew who your mom, dad, cousins, aunts and uncles were. They liked the idea of not getting overly hung up over the western notion of "neutrality" and welcomed the challenge to bring their "whole selves" to the service of people in mediation.

Unlike some professional groups I have coached and trained, these folks were very much at ease with a wide ranging discussion of the intellectual, emotional, physical and spiritual needs of people who find themselves in conflict. It seemed the most natural thing in the world to them that you can not deal with one aspect of a person or community without touching also upon the others. Many of the participants had more flexible boundaries around these issues than 'western' groups I had worked with before.

By the end of the fourth day we were in for another surprise. Some members of the group came to us saying they were exhausted and not willing or fully able to participate in the fourth of four role-plays. They found that the fact situations in the role-plays were so authentic that they stirred up very strong feelings, with the result that many were emotionally drained of resources.

Thinking on your feet is one of the prerequisites of a good mediator. Fortunately for us we had the benefit of a "dream team" of ten or so of the best coaches any trainer could ask for. We pulled up chairs in the open space at the opening of the crescent and ran an impromptu 'fishbowl' question and answer session that the group really enjoyed and learned from.

On the morning of the final day of training, energy levels were much higher and there was a lot of emotion in the air. The group had 'stormed', 'normed'' and 'performed', and in doing so had acquired a sense of identity and common purpose. Many had shared some very personal and touching experiences with the group.

When it came time to take leave of each other, we spent time sharing how we had uniquely experienced the week. I came away from that time humbled and amazed by the kinds of circumstances this group of men and women were dealing with in their lives and communities.

I personally felt that over course of the week I had climbed a high mountain that separated the valley in which I had lived my whole life from the valley in which they lived theirs. I caught a glimpse, and no more than a glimpse, of a whole different way of seeing and being alive. I am richer for it and thanked them for sharing so much of themselves with one another and with Gary and I.

On the trip home I reflected on how much richer an experience it was because people were brave enough to share both their broken-ness and their wholeness with one another. As Leonard Cohen so elegantly puts i - "There's a crack in everything - that's how the light gets in!"